


The Outsider

by ShiroiKabocha



Category: Myst Series
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 11:27:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1056215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroiKabocha/pseuds/ShiroiKabocha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Veovis doesn't hate Ti'Ana. At least, not because she's an outsider. But Aitrus doesn't understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Outsider

Veovis leaned against the frame of the window, staring sullenly across the dimmed lake to the city that climbed the far wall of the cavern. He poured a glass of wine absentmindedly and drained it with as much passion. Somewhere in that city, Aitrus was slumped in a heap bemoaning his awful fate in silence. Veovis pictured it. He’d be sitting in some empty room, staring at a spot on the floor as if there was nothing else left to stare at in the universe. In such a state, would he even be wise enough to see the only course of action he had left?

Veovis laughed humorlessly and poured himself another glass of wine. No, Aitrus would remain in that dejected pit of angst forever if left undisturbed. But he had _her_. If anyone could talk sense into Aitrus, she could. The picture was as clear as day in Veovis’ mind: she would come up behind him, lay a hand on his shoulder and turn his head toward her. She would hold his gaze with a stern face, and make him see what he had to do. Make him be a man. She was always stronger than Aitrus, this woman-- this _outsider_ , thought Veovis with an extra stab of jealousy. No wonder Aitrus had fallen for her.

Before, Veovis had called his dislike for Ti’ana prejudice. It was truthful at first; Veovis was not one to trust an uncivilized surface-dweller. But as he came to know Ti’ana, he realized that she was neither barbaric nor sinister. For a time, he found that he enjoyed her company. But then things changed. Veovis saw how Aitrus began to look at her, perhaps before Aitrus realized it himself. Ti’ana took up more and more of his time, stole in to deeper parts of Aitrus’ heart than Veovis had ever been able to penetrate. She and Aitrus wrote an Age together-- _an Age!_ Veovis spun away from the window, trying not to picture them skipping through their little geologist’s wonderland together. He’d broken rules for her. Aitrus, who was always such a lawful man, had broken D’ni law to teach Ti’ana how to Write. For her, he would disobey. For _her_ , and no one else.

A knock at the door caught Veovis' attention. One of the house servants entered the dark room and bowed. 

“Guild Master Aitrus requests an audience with you, Master Veovis,” he said.

“Good,” Veovis replied. “I will receive him here immediately. Send him to me.” The servant bowed again and exited the room.

Veovis remembered how Aitrus had looked in the Council Chamber earlier that day, when he had come for permission to marry the outsider. He had walked into the Chamber bright and energetic, glowing with nervous anticipation. Aitrus had looked so small, his thin frame standing in the center of that great stone amphitheater before the stern thrones of the Five Great Lords and the whole governing body of D’ni. It reminded Veovis of those days long ago, back when he had seen Aitrus working deftly among the monstrous machines at the bottom of the well that seemed to stretch upward forever. Aitrus, though he never struck one as exceptionally brave, never seemed daunted by anything that was bigger or more powerful than he was. He was never out of place among giants.

And then, the change of expression that had come over Aitrus when he heard Veovis’ words. All the color in his face melted away, revealing an expression of disbelief and heartache for only an instant. Aitrus’ expression hit Veovis sharply, and almost made him repeal his vote when he saw just how deeply he had wounded this former friend. But Veovis said nothing; it was not for nothing that he had opposed the marriage of Aitrus and Ti’ana in the first place.

He was surprised at Aitrus’ composure. Veovis had assumed that Aitrus would give him some cold look, perhaps even exchange a few choice words-- anything to acknowledge the rivalry that had been growing between them ever since the outsider Ti’ana had come into their world. But Aitrus, ever the more restrained, soft-spoken of the two, never even looked directly at Veovis. He simply agreed to “the will of the Council”, turned, and left the Chamber civilly, as if he had only been denied a permit to excavate in a restricted Age. Veovis’ look softened as he thought of that. Aitrus was a better man than he to bear such an insult so well. In a part of his heart, Veovis regretted having caused Aitrus this heartache.

His reverie was ended as the real Aitrus entered the room.

Aitrus bowed stiffly. “Veovis,” he said, notably omitting any title from his address. Before, when they had been close, it would have hardly raised an eyebrow; now it was the accusation that Veovis had anticipated since the incident in the chamber.

“So what is it that you want, Guildsman?” Veovis said, using a distant title. _If Aitrus can be cold, so can I,_ he thought to himself.

“I seek an explanation for your vote this morning.”

“And I decline to give it.”

“You do not like her, do you?”

Inside, Veovis cringed with a mix of hatred and pity. Outwardly, he only shrugged. “As I said...”

“...you decline to give your reasons.” Aitrus said these words to the floor with grim acceptance. Veovis was screaming inside. It was clear what Aitrus was thinking-- that Veovis’ heart was of stone, that he could afford no place in it for an outsider, that such bigotry could reduce the closest friendship to a bitter feud. Could he really be so blind? Did Aitrus truly believe that Veovis would do this to him over something so trivial as a political opinion on race? 

Aitrus had turned to the door and was ready to leave when Veovis called out to him.

“Aitrus!” he called, gripping his glass more tightly as he said it, though out of rage or fear he didn't know. Aitrus turned from the doorway, surprised, and Veovis realized that this was the first time in years that he had directly addressed Aitrus by name. The feeble yellow light from the fire highlighted only the faintest outline of the fine-boned face that Veovis knew so well, illuminating only one of those pale, quiet eyes that had always been filled with so much patience. Veovis wondered if Aitrus could make out his face in the darkness, or if he, too, constructed it from memory. What must he look like to Aitrus now?

“I never wanted to hurt you,” Veovis said, his voice uncharacteristically fragile. It sounded as if he was using all of his remaining willpower to control his words. “If you had any idea, if only you could see what I mean--” Veovis broke off, unable to continue. He turned to the window and laid his head upon the glass.

Veovis had expected Aitrus to leave after this. What could he possibly want to say to a stuttering madman who had kept him from the woman he... _loved_. Veovis fought back tears as that dreadful, definite word fell into his head like a stone-- _loved_. Aitrus loved Ti’ana. There was no denying it. Nothing that Veovis could do, no matter how miserable he could make them, would ever change the fact that they loved each other. Veovis broke into involuntary sobs through clenched teeth. He couldn’t believe that he was actually crying over this. In all his life, he had prided himself on his inability to be hurt; and now he had been felled by the kindest man he had ever known. And the bitter irony of it was, Aitrus himself would never understand what he had done. Aitrus would never know the true reason why Veovis had acted as he did. Aitrus would go on thinking that it had been out of hate, and Veovis had no way to tell him the truth. Not that he would ever believe the truth if he heard it.

A hand landed on Veovis’ shoulder. He turned, astonished, and saw the faint outline in firelight of Aitrus’ face beside his own.

“What’s the matter with you, Veovis?” he asked, worry evident in his voice. Even now, after everything Veovis had done, Aitrus could still worry about him. “You never cry. What in the world is the cause of this?”

To his own surprise, Veovis laughed. “Don’t you know by now?” he whispered, not sure if he was talking to himself or to Aitrus. “Doesn’t it make any sense to you at all? You honestly think that I voted against your marriage because Ti’ana is a _surface-dweller?_ You’ve seen me with her! You know my respect for her. It would make no sense if I were to suddenly ban her from marrying a D’ni man because of a prejudice she cured me of ages ago.”

Aitrus looked puzzled. “But... you haven’t spoken to her in years,” he said. “The rift between us, political and social--the whole city knows of it. How can you say that you don’t hate Ti’ana?”

Veovis smiled again, a sad, hopeless smile. “I never said that I didn't hate Ti’ana,” Veovis said slowly, shaking his head. “I just said that I didn't hate her for her heritage.”

“Then why?” Aitrus asked, his voice suddenly full of rage. He straightened up and dug his fingernails into the palms of his clenched fists. “Why do you hate her? What has she ever done to you? Why do you feel that you can’t just let us be _happy together?_ ” He nearly screamed these last words at Veovis. Never had Aitrus shown so much unbridled anger; Veovis was shocked into silence.

Aitrus took his silence as mockery. Fuming, he turned to leave again. This time, Veovis reached out to grab him by the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him in close, closing the remaining inches between them. Their lips met in a fiery embrace. Veovis channeled into that kiss all of the rage, the passion, the jealousy, the anger and the longing that he had kept pent up for so long: dammed by D’ni law, fear for his family’s reputation, and the outsider Ti’ana. He put his hands on either side of Aitrus’ face, holding on to him tightly as if afraid that he’d vanish like morning mist if Veovis so much as breathed.

He finally pulled away from the embrace, his hands still on either side of Aitrus’ face. They fell away slowly, dropping to Veovis’ sides. Aitrus was stunned, and Veovis was painfully unsurprised to see the faint horror hidden in Aitrus’ eyes. Surely, there had been rumors-- why should a man of Veovis’ standing in D’ni, and from such a prominent, rich family, not be married at this age? How could he channel so much of his energy into success in the Guild with nary a glance at the pretty girls that his father no doubt presented to him? Veovis was a man who had everything: money, power, astonishing talent, ravishing good looks. But then why did he always seem so troubled, so anxious or depressed, as if some part of him was missing that could never be fulfilled? They would talk, but no one would ever suspect the truth: that the one person Veovis loved was someone he could never have. 

Aitrus stuttered, unsure of what to say. “Veovis--” he began, but Veovis cut him off.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Veovis said, turning away from Aitrus. “I’m sorry.”

Aitrus leaned closer to Veovis. “Veovis, I...” He trailed off into silence, at a loss for words. “I don’t love you,” he said, finally. “I understand now, why you wouldn't let me and Ti’ana marry. I understand how much it must have hurt you when the engagement was announced. But... I don’t love you.” Aitrus’ voice was barely above a whisper. He cast his eyes at the floor, unwilling to look Veovis in the eye. "I'm sorry."

“No,” said Veovis, “ _I’m_ sorry. It’s my fault. You and Ti’ana... you love each other. You deserve to be together. I will repeal my vote.” Veovis moved away from Aitrus’ touch, speaking without facing him. “I think it would be best if we sever any ties we once had, Aitrus. Whatever existed between us, is no more.” Veovis choked out these words, trying again to hold back his emotions. “All promises are met. I bid you farewell, Guildsman.”

Veovis didn't turn around to watch Aitrus leave. He heard footsteps, slowly at first, moving toward the door. There, they paused.

“I’m sorry, Veovis,” Aitrus said, one last time.

“I’m sorry too,” whispered Veovis. “Now leave, for I am sick with the sight of you.”

Aitrus left, and Veovis sank into his chair with his bottle of wine, silent.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is over ten years old, and the writing makes me cringe (concrete imagery? goodness, what's that!?), but it was the first slash I ever wrote and it holds a special place in my heart.


End file.
